TAKING TIME AND A LIL' YELLOW NUMBER

Summer has challenged me this year in many ways, everyone knows of that constant pressure in summer to have to do things, not waste the sunshine and see your friends. I'm so lucky to have friends  & family all over the place, so I'm able to experience loads of different places and step out of my everyday city every so often. 

But...I was finding myself so run down, upset that     my days off seemed to go in a flash (time flies when  you're having fun right?) and I was having fun, so much fun. The problem became that I literally had no time to breathe, to enjoy or even clean my home or to focus on myself and then tomorrow would come and I'd be back to work. 

I started to get quite down, and my reaction to this was to fill every aspect of my days off and evenings off with seeing my friends, or doing things and I was noticing that I was starting to lose my s**t more often, over the tiniest things! I just couldn't wind down no matter what, I had an inability to say no. I love being sociable but this was another level...I was driving all the time on my own to go to these places, some further than others. 

I was literally leaving myself no time to just relax, my fear being I was waisting my days if I didn't fill them. 

It's amazing what doing nothing can do to your mentality. I've started a new job which is closer to home and even in the first week I've already finished projects that were overdue, and started new ones with friends. I've cleaned my whole house, done my overdue clothes washing...oops, and I've took time for myself for once!

I feel more creative, I feel less like time is slipping away from me and less stressed! Honestly I think sometimes it's taken for granted, just doing nothing for once. 

Summer also forced me to transition from my black jeans to skirts and dresses with no tights and has been a process. Honestly, I'm kinda into it now...I'm trying to learn to love my knobbly knees, and having a tan from holiday helps but I am honestly living for this yellow checked skirt from Topshop.

I love the grunge style but how I can still add colour to my wardrobe which is something I've been trying to do - It's hard when you basically sold your soul to the black skinny jeans hype from the age 14. 

The whole look feels very me, and its so transitional into winter by just adding black tights and a denim or leather jacket which is always a winner. 

So what to take from this post? Not a lot. Except always take some time for yourself and topshop are currently smashing the denim skirt game. 

x

HOW TO | LONG-DISTANT FRIENDSHIPS

I'm sure any adult probably has a long-term friendship, whether you've moved away or they have here's some of my tips on not letting the distance get in the way. 

I have a few long-term friendships and sometimes it can be hard, no more spontaneous nights out every weekend, no more just popping to see them for an hour, it now has to be an event thats planned into your diaries. 

One of my New Years goals in 2018 was to spend more time on my family and friends, I think I'm good at putting aside time for friends and family because whenever I have time off work I can't sit still anyway - but I still wanted to put aside more time regularly to see them. 

It's all a bit of give and take, here and there. You need to put in to expect some back in my opinion - so my first tip is: 

Take Turns:

It's a lot easier, fairer and more fun when you take it in turns to make the effort to visit. Recently my best friend from University moved closer to me for her job, and she actually lives about 30 minutes from where I work (which is still about 1hr 30 from my house). We do this really well, we take turns to see each other and we are both so chill about it. Somehow without making it a thing it became a thing that pretty much naturally we take it in turns to drive or travel to each other. She surprised me on my Birthday with a trip to Birmingham to see me, and then recently last weekend I went to visit her in Leicester! 

Be understanding:

It can be hard to always travel, and sometimes it can be expensive. Be understanding if they can't get it off work, or if they can't afford it. After all they're your friend, and if you mean that much to each other you'll rearrange!

Do something different:

While going on a night out is great and chilling in the house drinking wine and eating 'picky tea' (a tea consisting of various little foods that you eat with your hands - my friends prefer crisps, cheese, bread, nachos yum) a good way of making the visit seem longer and more full is to plan something to do or go. My family have a lovely static caravan in Wales and it is so lovely to go and have time away up there with friends. Me and my friendship group I grew up with went there a while back and made a weekend out of it and now it will always be remembered! 

NO PRESSURE:

Don't put so much pressure on each other to press conversation every day, just because you don't talk as much as you used to when you lived closer doesn't mean your friendship is flaking! You're all busy, tag them in a cheeky meme or two, send them something funny. Instead of just liking their Instagrams message them quickly and ask them about what they did today - but don't be worried if you don't always speak! Chill. 

Have fun:

Self explanatory really... but you don't get much time with these girls (or boys) but have fun. You can have your moan and be natural but just make sure you have fun. Don't waste the time you have because you WILL regret it - trust. Ask them questions about their life, GET OFF YOUR PHONE (Instagram boomerangs of wine dates allowed obvs) but be interested and be completely present! Take photos together and make memories!

I have a fair few of long distant friends so you could call me a professional at this - but honestly these are things i've learnt throughout the years and now I've never been more happier and felt more comfortable with my long-distance friendships. I love them all...but they know that ;)

HELLO 2018

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

I know i'm about 7 days late but I feel like i've already spent my 2018 sleeping, working and being ill. This better not be a reflection on how the rest of my year is going to go! 

I thought I'd do a small post on some of my goals for this year - I find it so weird how something like a new year number can feel so great, like a fresh slate, and i'd be lying if I didn't trick myself into thinking 'this year will be my year'. 

2017 was a good year for me, I got a promotion, I bought a house, I visited loads of places in and out of the UK. While in 2018 I do want a lot more of that, I do want time for myself, I am a massive fidgeter, I can't sit still - which means on my days off in 2017 I felt the need to fill it with something when sometimes I just needed a day to do nothing. The house we've bought is a bit further away from my friends and from the city centre so some days I am forced to be on my own in the house, which is good but can be so boring, i'm going to have to get used to it! 

Anyway here are a few goals I want to achieve in 2018. 

1. Get healthier.

Quite a generic 'new years resolution' but i'm not fussed about losing weight, I just want to be healthy and stronger. In 2017 I had a few issues with health, my strength wasn't great and for a 23 year old I spent a lot of the year feeling 203. Ok, I know quite an exaggeration, but you get the idea - my legs especially were very weak. In late 2016 I had blood tests and one thing that came up meant that I had to make sure I was looking after myself so it didn't get any worse but it meant that in 2017 when I went through any ill or overworked stages, or stages of not eating right or not eating regularly then I physically could feel the affects by feeling very weak and tired. 

I want to overall just be healthy and a bit stronger!

2. Focus on yourself - Body and Mind.

Similar to previous one but more focussing on my mind, I'm not much of a worrier anymore but I do find I do over analyse stupid things which can end up ruining my whole day. I want to take more time to spend with myself, I used to be so good at this when I was younger but now I think I just get bored but I want to focus on doing more things, like taking photos or going for walks, going on the treadmill just little things that still will keep me busy but aren't necessarily boring.

3. Be Creative. 

Since being out of university I have tried various different projects, none of which have come through to a final product. I don't think this is because of lack of commitment or being lazy but more busy schedules and no time! I want to find more ways of being creative in 2018, I have wanted to create another zine since I printed a magazine in university but I think the pressure of making it something bigger than it was, was always its downfall. I'm going to look to create something just for me for now, no pressure just some fun. I guess this blog can become something creative as well, it will allow me to take photographs and my instagram's allow me to create imagery too - This leads onto my next one...

4. Take more photography jobs. 

A lot of 2017 was turning down jobs when I didn't necessarily have a reason to - a lot of it was because various agencies are London Based so it would require a lot of travelling to London, where it was almost impossible to charge normal rates AND rent a studio without it eventually costing me. Also location wise, I didn't know London well enough there was a fear of looking inexperienced and stupid. The jobs I did take went well and were good but the lack of content this year was disappointing to me. I work 5 days a week so can be hard to fit around my other work, but if its something I enjoy I should find a way in 2018. 

5. Be more present. 

This one is two in one, I want to spend less time on my phone, I'm good at putting it away and I don't like being rude but I find that when I am watching a movie at home or sitting around doing nothing I'll be sat on my phone scrolling through the same things over and over again, i'm not sure why I do this because it is definitely not something I find fun - I find that when my phone goes out of battery I just leave it and I enjoy watching films much more when i'm ACTUALLY watching them (shocker). 

I also want to visit my family and friends more - I don't think i'm bad at this one either however there are some friends that I would like to make more of an effort to travel to see. While its hard because literally all my friends and family are here there and everywhere not only in the UK but in the world I have more than enough time to make the effort.

6. Try new things. 

Mainly about food. Anyone who knows me and who has been lucky enough to wine and dine with me will probably be able to tell you my exact order in every single restaurant. I like what I like what can I say, and a lot of the time I pick a restaurant based on whether I fancy eating that one dish. While this one will be hard to commit to I just know it, I thought I'd give it a go...try something new. I'll still probably always get my usual at Wagamama...i'll let you guess that one. (Won't be hard) 

So lets see if 2018 will be the year of focussing on myself, trying new 'healthy' food, with a friend and not my phone, while taking some photos and being creative.